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Deepen your Relationships by Being Vulnerable (A Blast from the Past)

Warning! This weekly challenge will require some bravery.

Hey, I’m Lee Snir, a co-founder at Legendary Life. You know, Todd and I are often giving you insights, advice, and action steps, but only if we’ve done it ourselves first. Today I would like to challenge you to do something that I have recently done, and it really WOWED me.

2020 brought a global pandemic that has forced us to stay away from people.

It was already hard to maintain friendships and relationships and even harder to create new ones.

During the final months of 2020, I happened to dream about a girl with whom I had met 19 years ago, at school. This was a girl that I had no contact with for about 17 years, and we weren’t even connected on social media. It was quite odd that she popped into my head out of the blue like this.

I remember her in such a positive way. I remember being jealous about how centered she was and how nobody in school managed to annoy her.  She would laugh at all the popular kids and found them very amusing. She was extremely talented with her studies and had an abundance of emotional intelligence at such a young age. I looked up to her and wanted to be her friend. Even when I became popular, I still thought that she was something special.

I decided to contact her, now, at the age of 31.

I didn’t have much data to go with. All that I remembered was her first name, Amber.

I remember her last name very vaguely and that really made the FB search after her tedious and long. Regardless, I was determined to talk to her now, woman to woman, and tell her that I appreciate her, until this very day.

It was a quiet Sunday morning when I woke up from another dream about her. At around 7 AM, I jumped out of bed and decided to track her down on Facebook. I looked through so many profiles with the same first and last name as hers. I FOUND HER! She looked exactly as I remember, as we were little girls.

I was about to message her when I thought, “I shouldn’t. She is going to think I am so creepy and weird.” Despite these negative thoughts running through my mind, I found the courage that I needed along with the realistic thought, “I have nothing to lose.” Besides, there must be a reason that she appeared in my thoughts so randomly after 17 years of not seeing her.

This is what I wrote, “Amber!!! It’s you!!! I am so happy that I finally managed to find you! I don’t know if you remember me. We were friends in school. I know that it’s a bit odd that I am contacting you now after all these years. I have been recently thinking and dreaming about you and I don’t know why. It’s quite strange. I just wanted to tell you that you were the coolest kid I ever met, really. You had a center. You were very authentic and true to yourself.

I appreciated you as a kid more than I appreciated anyone else from school and I thought highly about you as a child. If it’s not too weird to ask, I would like to invite you to meet one day after the quarantine is over.”

I clicked SEND.

You see, my critical thinking told me that I will be rejected and that trying to do this will make me come across as a strange person. This is exactly why I decided to go ahead and do it. I don’t want fears to dictate my way or yours. I don’t want us to be on our deathbeds filled with regrets about things that we wanted to do and have not done, due to our fears.

I decided to go for this challenge with my true authentic self. As you can see by the message I wrote to Amber, I dared to be vulnerable and show it to her.

This week, I challenge you to be vulnerable and dare to take action.

If you have anyone in your life that you have thought about contacting but are hesitant to do so, then do so! Be brave and do so with authenticity. Think about it, What will be the worst-case scenario? Rejection? Yes, It’s not pleasant to experience, but I’m sure that just like me, you have been rejected in the past.

We both survived it, haven’t we?

Go on, contact that person. Move past your fears. If you have done it, don’t forget to contact me here and let me know that you did it so we can celebrate together!

Sending love,

Lee.

P.S.

I’m sure you’re wondering if Amber answered and what she said three hours later.

“Lee! Of course, I remember you!  Even though it has been around 17 years, it seems like yesterday to me. To be honest, I was kind of afraid to answer your message. 

I’m really not the woman I wanted to be, and I don’t want you to be disappointed by who I  have become.

“Your message really made my day and I’m feeling very emotional since you sent it. Thank you for doing so, it means a lot to me. I would love to meet up with you after quarantine.”

You see, I was authentic when I wrote to her. She was authentic when she wrote back to me.

This made it all super special, intimate, and deep.

I look forward to meeting her.